


Save The World

by Berrrline



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ava Sharpe Needs a Hug, AvaLance, Dead Sara Lance, F/F, Post-Episode AU: s05e13 The Alternative
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berrrline/pseuds/Berrrline
Summary: Sara died five years ago by the zombie apocalypse and didn't revive.A journey to see how Ava got through those years and a job opportunity that could get her soulmate back.
Relationships: Ava Sharpe/Original Character(s), Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Kudos: 15





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a redo of the first version bc I hated how it was going. The plot is different and the backstory for my oc is different. Also if you could give me suggestions of what you'd like to see that would be great. Enjoy<3 (its on wattpad too...)
> 
> *DISCLAIMER* none of the events of this story have anything to do with current situations/policies/issues. (unless I say so...)

Time was a relative factor in life. It pinpointed important events that seemed to have a domino effect for generations to come. A potato and some wires would give inspiration to men and women to create something unimaginable for their time.

“Fuck!”

It was the sound of the girl that was currently laid in Ava’s bed. The woman’s loudness blocked Ava from her thoughts as she pumped thoughtless fingers into her. The women had met in a bar, Ava expressed it wasn’t her scene and she had only come for work. Of course, by the time Ava had already drunk a significant amount of alcohol, the words spilling out of her.

Times like these were Ava found herself above a stranger listening to their pleasure was scarce. She was never on the receiving end too afraid of what the outcome might be. Sounds of release came and Ava was quick to detach herself, laying down on her back with a huff.

The mystery woman panted with a tired smile on her face as she lay on her back. Unbeknownst to her that the woman beside her was anything but satisfied. She laughed a small laugh, sparing a glance In Ava’s direction. Ava had already turned her back not caring if the woman had stayed or left, leaving her to her own devices.

“Amanda-“

Ava sighed, cutting her off effectively. “It’s Ava. Could you shut the door on your way out?” It seemed Ava had decided for her. Her tiredness and deep-rooted annoyance from tonight heightening with this conversation.

The girl left quietly with only a small mutter of anger, Ava was thankfully for the peace and quiet. Her life wasn’t chaotic per se but it wasn’t exactly peaceful. Dinners with clients were long, as well as the endless amount of birthday parties that occurred during the year. The gradual uproot of her friend’s lives that she was more than welcome to be a part of. Days where she aids her neighbor because the poor woman couldn’t tell her right from left. Or the classic pervy neighbor, Larry Fisher who always seemed to be there to give comments on her ass.

She closed her eyes letting the silence wash over her. The loudness served as a distraction from her hourly thoughts on everything and anything. Ava was good at being by herself, she found the only company she needed was her own. Others were clouding and overbearing.

She rose from the bed slowly, looking out the window that revealed the night. Ava reached under her bed pulling a shoebox out. Her hand grazed the top with care. The box had been the only thing to connect Ava to Sara, everything else was ruined, or with Quentin. She smiled gently not letting the bad thoughts get the best of her.

It had been such a long time but only a fraction of a distance. When Ava thought about the years that passed it seemed like such a blur. Moments from her memory were out of focus, the lens not clear enough to pick up on it. Sometimes remembering Sara felt like that, like a camera that didn’t focus.

Her abundance of feelings always heightened as the nights grew longer and the memories blurred from her brain. She hated the effect time had on her, constantly feeling like someone was pushing her to move on. To forget, even just for a moment of what it felt like to be with Sara.

Ava opened the box, staring at the continents inside as if they were her most prized possession. And in a way they were. Her hand rimmed the silver rings that were a permanent item in Sara’s wardrobe. Her hand burned, pulling back immediately as she remembered her previous actions. The sight of her own fingers put her in a fractured state.

She made a trip to the bathroom to wash her hands vigorously but then decided to take a long cold shower. Goosebumps filtered her skin standing under the freezing water but she barely moved. In fact, Ava stood pin-straight letting the water run down her blonde hair and travel to the floor.

To the woman, it had been mere minutes she was standing in the tiled shower but in reality, it had been an hour and a half. Her body got used to the odd temperature, adjusting like bodies tended to do when given time.

It clouded Ava’s mind, her actions after getting out of the shower not noticed. She’d managed to brush her hair and put on clothes and pour herself cereal without even thinking about it. Her mind in a sense of autopilot. Ava was described as a strict rule follower with sensible instincts (in many different words and tone).

Eventually, the night dragged out and Ava came back to her body lugging herself into bed. It was barely 2 am and sleep wasn’t on her agenda. She sat up again knocking the forgotten box to the floor. The items clanked as they hit the ground. Ava was quick to dive to the floor picking up the continents. Shit, she muttered repeatedly.

Her hand met the blue furry animal that Sara got as a joke. The short woman walked into her office one day with her hands behind her back and a smile that could cure cancer. Her cockiness not passing Ava nor the sudden visit. The bureau was quiet and tame as per usual but Sara came and threw it off balance. She’d ask Ava if she remembered the special day (Ava of course had no semblance of an idea). The shorter one went on about the day in the Wild West, where Beebo saved the day.

Ava remembers thinking the day she got the alert that the legends needed her. Whether she was real or not. Whether she caused them all pain from the rod that had been lodged so far up it blocked her from living. The blonde wanted to help, she wanted to be needed and not just because she was built for it.

And legends gave her that chance. Sara gave that to her- gave her a chance to be real, and wanted, and loved.

So Ava smiled at the woman in front of her and nodded. Sara revealed Beebo as if he was some lost treasure that had been gone for centuries, telling Ava to handle him with care because a piece of her will always be in him. And it was. Days would go by where Ava would live her life on autopilot, not completely there to see everything happen. But once in a while she’d pull him from under the bed and feel Sara’s love.

Ava’s life was anything but chaotic. For her it was tame and a balance of work and fun and terrible loneliness. But then she’d be happy and satisfied. The point was her life was hers and she was living it to the best of her abilities. To all of her abilities.

The woman went to bed finally, letting sleep wash over her like waves pushing against the shore. Taking a little bit of sand back to the ocean as it succumbed to its fate. Dark water rushed with the moon, the currents a force to be reckoned with. Ava dreamt of being the moon, her dream a weird cycle of absurdity. She’d feel herself control the waves at night how they moved elegantly but dangerously. Fierce and loud but comforting and gentle at times. The negative-positive push that cursed the ocean to take and give life.

The dream lasted mere seconds, but the feeling lasted an eternity. When Ava woke up hours later she had been covered in liquids of her own. The night sweats covered her, sticking to her like glue. It was always like this, she would have a dream- not a nightmare- just a dream but she’d wake up to the aftermath.

One, in particular, was about fire. An uncontrollable fire that had spread throughout the city in effortless speed. The city was empty, no people had occupied this place for years so the fire caused no harm. Ava watched herself standing on top of a mountain, looking at the red flames that took everything in its path. When the fire reached her it stopped, the fire felt her.

No, she was the fire, just like she was the moon and the ocean, with great emotion but little to show for it. Everyday Ava went to work taking her one banana to go because she despised being late over her health. She’d find herself in a meeting with people she saw daily for over five years.

Over the years, many colleagues tried to befriend her but learned it was best not to interfere, for whatever was going on was dangerous.

So Ava rolled with the punches and made punches of her own at a gym she started going to. Time…time for Ava was like a trip around the sun in one second if you could believe that. Every moment, 365 days, 24/7, it was all equivalent to one moment. A moment where she felt the weight of a burning city or untamable water. Or a tornado sucking all objects in its path, leaving nothing but despair.

It wasn’t as if Ava was unhappy, she was. She liked the life she built for herself and the people that surrounded her. But an unfamiliar pit simmered inside her, an angry, dark pit that she didn’t notice. So instead of realizing that her body was in trouble, she went about her day and at night she’d face the consequences. The weird dreams where she felt like she was in control of everything but she wasn’t.

She wasn’t in control of the fire, the fire was her. The burning flames were the deep dark matted feelings that Ava had failed to see as she dusted her corners. They’d edge themselves far into the walls of her being that there was no longer a difference between her and them.

Ava punched the bag while her trainer was holding it. A young man who was the only parent to the sweetest little girl. Ava offered to babysit in return for all he’s done for her but the man declined politely saying it was his job. Toby, the trainer was a good man who cared for Ava’s wellbeing more than she did. He’d ask questions, not to her liking but she understood he had a job to do.

When her session was over and she worked up a sweat, she and Toby sat down in his office. Her back never touching the seat, afraid to spread the remnants of her work out on the white cushioned seat.

“Ava.” Toby sighed gently, his signature smile on his face. “What is it this time?”

Toby had seen how much force she’d put into hitting the bag. Or how the weights didn’t seem to affect her as she pushed through it with something else in mind. She glided through the training session with ease, like it was second nature.

“What’s what? Toby, I’m fine, I’m following your over precise schedule alright.” She wasn’t. At best she would remember to eat after hours of work, and it would be take-out no doubt. She did try to make it as healthy as possible but sometimes a girl craves a big meaty burger.

“Look dude, I don’t like watching over a full-grown adult just as much as the next person but you need to take care of yourself, Ava. I have watched you for three years become this stable person but way too independent. It’s okay to lean on someone once in a while.”

Ava nodded her head curtly, her brain filing that as another thing she had to get right. “I appreciate that you care, I really do T.”

He seemed to be fine with her response, standing up and walking from across the desk to Ava. He held out his hand, Ava lifted a brow as she thought of her sweaty skin. She pulled herself up from the chair letting Toby walk out first.

“Do what you have to do. I have to go pick up Genesis. Meet me for lunch?” Ava agrees, heading towards the showers. She rinsed off enough to put her regular clothes back on, only to head home and take a more thorough one. She checked her emails, replying to a few of them. Due dates filtered her mind as well as releases and meetings, interviews she’d have to do for Central City Citizen.

The company had grown over the past five years, Iris West-Allen becoming one of the most famous reporters in the world. Ava’s job was to delegate, sign a few papers here and there. Maybe attend a party if it was called for. She was one of the most organized people Iris had met so now she dealt with dates. Any date/data you could think of, death dates, presidential election dates, mayor’s big announcement, a shark and gorilla fighting in Central City because why not.

Her phone rang beside her head that laid on the kitchen counter. “Sharpe.” She answered the phone not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Ava, hey I need a favor.” Iris’s voice seeped out timidly. Ana rubbed her forehead, pulling a smile onto her face even though the woman couldn’t see her.

“You’re my boss.”

The line was quiet for a second before she heard Iris again.

“It’s for a case….in Thailand. I’d get someone else to do it if I could but you are most qualified for the job.” Usually, Iris never minded giving her a job, she knew the woman liked the responsibility. So the confusion on Ava’s face at her tone was not misplaced.

“Yes…? Why are you being weird about this?”

On the other line, Iris opened and closed her mouth like a fish. She stared at the wall in her office that had been littered with greenery and books spread out on steel shelves. She scratched her neck, “you’re assignment is to report the local disease that’s seized Thailand with the CDC. It’s called Zombie disease, which is a god awful name but it fits.”

Ava hummed slowly, “What does it do?”

“It causes the skin to exuviate and some people feel asphyxiation, their skin starts to present itself as a green tint. It started in Bangkok, a little boy had a history of being in hospitals but the illness he came in for was far from what he was diagnosed with. No one knows where he got it from, so I need you to go over there and do what you do.”  
Ava put the woman on speaker to search her calendar. It was almost summertime so her schedule was more flexible than usual. Ava wasn’t one to decline a job, so she told Iris that she’d have her bags packed for whenever she needed her to leave. Iris let out a breath of relief, “you sure, Ava?”

Ava shrugged, forgetting the reporter wasn’t next to her, “you are my boss.” Iris hummed in agreement but Ava’s mind fluttered in curiosity, it wasn’t as if they hadn’t reported on things happening in foreign countries. But still, they usually let the CDC do their job without the press or journalism until after the virus had been cured.

“Why are we covering this story, I mean it sounds very dire but I doubt a manager of editorial scripts has anything to do with this. Plus how are you going to survive without your unofficial assistant?” To be honest Ava’s job title was all over the place, some days she’d look over papers to make sure the story was projected properly. Other days she tailed Iris in all her conferences and took her calls for her when Iris had to go look after the twins.

“I’ll survive, and I need you on this because some rumors are going around that this isn’t a random virus. We don’t have the best track record when it comes to Asia so I want you to get the real story. No conspiracies.”

“Okay just send me a detailed email, yea? I don’t want to make the CDC job harder than it is by being unprepared.”

“Of course, thank you, Ava. I love you.” Iris became a friend quickly. She’d been supportive of Ava five years ago by offering her a job. Albeit from home some days when she didn’t feel like making the drive to Central City from Star City. Iris would make the trip to Ava’s home when she called in sick, which was fairly often at the beginning of her employment. She wouldn’t say anything when she found Ava sprawled on her kitchen floor with a bottle of wine next to her head.

In return, Ava was there when Iris gave birth to Don and Dawn 4 years ago. The reporter’s judgment was hazy with fear as she told Ava about Nora, and how she didn’t know if she could do it again. Ava was a substitute for Barry and Joe who were off saving the city from Captain Boomerang. That name caused Ava a tearful laugh one night on the phone with Iris.

“Love you too, Mrs. West-Allen.” Ava hung up quickly, not giving her the chance to protest. Later Ava went to lunch with Toby and Genesis, they conversed about the things going on in their lives. Genesis was nine, and she was brilliant for such a young age. Ava admired them, they had each other no matter who left around them. The mother who had admitted she couldn’t handle a child at 18, or the friends he lost because he was too tired from attempting to get his 6-month-old daughter to fall asleep.

Ava failed to include that she’d be leaving sometime soon for work. Presenting her life as everyday activities that hadn’t changed the last time he asked. Lunch was great and she felt more at ease than she did a second ago.


	2. ii

Her suitcase was packed. All she had to do was wait for the call to confirm her ticket. Ava sat on her bed, running a hand through her locks, stressfully. This week had been tiring enough and now she had to make sure she got on a plane 14 hours from now.

She’d gotten all her affairs in order just in case she wouldn’t be back in a reasonable amount of time. She gave Gary the duty of watering her plants and putting the mail in her house. She had told Nora first that she was leaving and the two caught up, the last time they saw each other being Sunday at brunch with little Ray. The offspring of Nora and Ray being the small three-year-old with chubby cheeks.

His name was Brandon, and he was Ava’s godson which she feels honored for even to this day. The kid was the very definition of bittersweet. He’d have the cutest moments, like watching his dad make him food patiently, trying to mock his movement. But then he’d smash grapes into the wall because he couldn’t reach the counter.

Ava left Nora to tell the rest of the gang not wanting to spread herself thin with the long hours ahead of her. Her phone pinged but she ignored it, opting to head down into her kitchen. She opened her fridge taking the last beer bottle. The bottle opened, the lid falling into the sink and Ava set down the opener beside her.

She took a swing of the liquor, keeping it in her mouth before swallowing the containments. She sniffed, dragging her hand across her face to get rid of the tears. Another swing. Then another. One more. She chugs the remaining liquor before throwing out the glass bottle.

Upstairs her phone pinged constantly. Ava sat on the leather couch, laying her head back to the fuzzy pillow. Her eyes stared at the ceiling with intensity, her hands clutching each other. She let her phone go off, instead of willing herself to slumber.

5 years ago

The new apartment was nice Ava had to admit. She had moved in a few weeks ago with the help of the legends. Is it still weird that she didn’t consider herself a legend? Anyway, she had found a place close to Quentin’s in Star City. The retired cop was elated by Ava’s closeness, he saw it as a chance to get to know her outside of everything.  
Ava put down her book upon hearing the grumble of her stomach. She had never been to this city before and now she lived here. Her decision to move had little to do with convenience, but chance. To get to know Quentin and Sara’s hometown better, to find a home. Because DC wasn’t her home, she thought it was but it wasn’t.

The Waverider was always going to be her home. The long bathroom line and late-night gathering around the table. Movie nights that made her feel like her crazy life on a time ship was normal. But Ava wanted that domestic life that she had depraved Sara of on Ray and Nora’s wedding day. God, if she had just said yes everything would be perfect.

The broken record in her head that echoed out to her saying yes, yes, yes but it was too late. I’d move to SC for you, I’d wait for you to come home to me. I’ll watch our daughter  
play on the playground with you while the other moms talk nonsense. I’ll do it all with you.

She couldn’t do that so instead, she moved to SC to see what she missed. Or maybe she moved to find her sense of domestic without Sara.

Ava walked out of her apartment locking the door behind her. An old woman with silver hair and black sunglasses walked with a cane in front of her. The cane hit the door and the woman felt for the zipper on her purse, searching the black bag for her keys.

“Hey Miss, I-“

“Oh hello dear, sorry I can’t find my keys.” The lady held out the bag to Ava, insisting for her to find the set of keys. Ava did so, opening the door next to hers’ and leading the woman inside.

“Thank you. My name is Gladys.” She said walking into the kitchen that was a replica of Ava’s. Gladys had no issue with a stranger in her home, her movements clear as she memorized every spot in her home. “I forgot to buy the flour again. Why do I always do that?” The last part was for herself but Ava heard it.

“I could get you some flour, I was going out anyway. Ava Sharpe, it’s nice to meet you, Gladys.”

Well from there it bloomed. Ava had offered to regularly pick up groceries for the woman claiming it was no problem. She’d go to the doctor with Gladys when she had an eye appointment for what little vision she had left. When Gladys mentioned that she wasn’t getting her retirement checks Ava figured out why and the woman had been grateful.  
Gladys would tell Ava to pace herself and not run herself ragged. She would bake her pastries because sometimes Ava gave her saddened energy. Ava was like a daughter to her, she was the daughter she never got to have, so she’d bake her cookies when Ava complained about work. Or so much as a forced laugh.

Gladys wasn’t overly needy, she wouldn’t ask anything of Ava but Ava would do just about anything she asked for. When they decided to get lunch together outside the stuffy apartments, Gladys had run into an old friend. Ava could tell the older woman was uncomfortable but she was too nice to tell him to leave. Ava linked their arms together and told the man an expectable lie.

Ava never came to Gladys crying, or sobbing, flooding herself with tears about her past. She’d never show too much emotion that wasn’t happy because she was scared that she’d inject her with it. So their relationship had always been about helping each other without asking or telling. Ava helped Gladys with bills, appointments, and groceries, while Gladys baked her cookies and told her stories about her long life. Each of them helped each other heal from the wounds that didn’t quite heal properly.

…….

Sunday, 2025 (Present)

Ava woke up from her nap. Her eyes were a little hazy so she rubbed them. She stood going upstairs to check her phone. Her lawyer had called her and others as well, texts filled her notification bar. She called Nate back hesitantly, the phone rang a couple of times before he picked up.

“Ava,” he sounded breathless, “where are you?”

“Home,” she’d answer quietly, afraid that he’d yell at her even though Nate wasn’t the type to. He had been nothing but family to Ava for all these years.

“Ava, you have to come.” She hated how his voice sounded. Pity, just for her.

She spent the week talking to lawyers and making sure that everything was set. She barely had time to pack let alone go to work. She had made all the arrangements because no one else would do it and it was killing her.

“I have a flight to catch.” That was a lie. Her flight didn’t leave until tomorrow.

“Aves you’re going to regret not coming to her funeral.”

“I’ll take my chances.” She hung up on him, throwing her phone on her messy bed.

1 Week Ago

It was Sunday, the sun was shining brightly and the clouds were nowhere to be seen. Star City had been raining for the last couple of days but it finally let up. The sun glowed in the sky at its highest point and it made Ava feel serene. The weather always seems to affect her.

She had the groceries in her hands and tried to open the door to Gladys’s apartment. The woman usually left the door open for her when it was Sundays. Ava told her it was dangerous but Gladys assured her that she was fine.

When the door was locked Ava thought nothing of it. Maybe she had taken her advice, after all, so instead, she knocked on the door, waiting patiently. It had been a few minutes of Ava waiting before she decided to look under the plant pot for the key Gladys left her. She set the bags on the floor using both hands to unlock the door and let herself in.  
Ava placed the bags on the kitchen counter, already started to put everything away in the formation she’d seen Gladys do for years.

“Gladi! I brought your stuff. I still don’t know why you need all this flour.”

Ava started to wonder why she didn’t get a response. Her brain finally registered the locked door and the all too quiet apartment. She walked toward Gladys’s room and prayed that this wasn’t happening right now.

Ava opened the door slowly still giving herself time to be wrong. Once the door was wide open Ava saw the woman still in her nightgown. Her body hadn’t moved once, her chest didn’t move up and down. Not a single snore escaped out of her body.

Ava rushed to her side, “Gladys!” She shook the woman harshly, trying to bully her into staying alive. “Gladys, wake up.” She repeated the sentiment but the woman was gone. Unbeknownst to her, tears had been streaming down her face like a waterfall.

Ava wipes them, the pit in her stomach growing a little bigger. “Oh my God, ohmygosh, ohmygosh.” She slid down, her back hitting the wall. For hours Ava sat there watching her lifeless body before she picked herself up.

“Hello, yes I’d like to report a death.” She said into the phone, later ambulances had been parked and ready to take her away. Her body laid in a black plastic bag like trash. They tried to zip her up but Ava stopped them.

“Wait! Just wait a goddamn minute.” She looked at Gladys, her eyes glossy. “Thank you for everything Gladi.” She whispered into the lady’s ear. Her body got rolled away into the ambulance.

After that everything went haywire. The autopsy confirmed that she died of natural causes and lawyers swarmed her. Apparently, Gladys left everything to Ava, every penny she owned. She left her the antiques that she swore by. She left letters and pictures of her once adventurous life.

Ava had to plan the funeral. Gladys had no family, her ex-husband had died long before she did and she never had time for a kid. She spent her twenties backpacking Europe with her future husband. She quickly realized that she’d be out of money soon so she took a plane back to America to finish school. Gladys became an architect, she designed buildings to her great pleasure.

At her young age, all she wanted was the promotion she worked hard for so no kids. No distractions. Her husband wanted something else so they separated, but it didn’t stop her. The lady worked ten times harder for it because it was everything.

One day, she’d been well over 40 but she still imagined the many houses and buildings she could make come to life. One day she would wake up and her vision would be gone. She had an inoperative tumor in her frontal lobe that blocked her from the world. It had grown larger over the years, planting itself inside of her.

Ava would never know this but the lady had that same pit of darkness inside of her. That same guilt and regret that was doing backflips inside her. Gladys felt the same thing in Ava the day she met her and she didn’t want the young woman to perish as she did. She had been angry at the world for taking the thing she sacrificed everything for, her marriage, and her chance at a family. Gladys never really got over it.

But she learned to live with her regrets that hunted her so vividly. She wishes Ava to not have the same fate as her. For the woman had great things ahead of her and couldn’t be stopped by the all-consuming hatred that lingered in the dark.

……

Tuesday, 2025

Ava called Nate who had known Gladys the best unlike the rest of the legends. He’d come by regularly to check on Ava and the woman.

“She’s dead,” Ava stated plainly, not giving him a chance to talk. The other side of the line was quiet. “She’s dead, Nate. I- she’s dead. Everyone is dead.”

“Gladys? Gladys died?” The silence from before well that was because he thought she was talking about Sara. It shocked him because Ava hadn’t talked about Sara since ever. But it couldn’t have been about Sara.

“I found her. God, she hadn’t even gotten ready for the day. Nate?”

“Ava…”

“Why does everyone keep dying?” He stopped breathing. Both ends of the call were quiet. Nate had just gotten home when he received the call. In the end, the question had been left unanswered but rather replaced by Nate’s concerns and questions about her whereabouts.

……..

Current Sunday, 2025

Ava tore her closet apart trying to find a black anything. Her stress levels were high and she had thought about what Nate had said to her. She wanted to ignore him and catch an earlier flight to Thailand but his voice had infected her head.

Eventually, she found a black suit and heels. She wore her signature bun and side part. She grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and left the apartment that was messier than usual.

She drove to the cemetery she picked for Gladys’s funeral and got out of the car. The sky was stormy and gray as if it sensed the death of the wonderful soul. She walked towards the group of people wearing black and they all turned towards her.

Gladys’s friend from that day at lunch had been there as well as the legends. Other people who had worked with her or friends from before she moved stood before her grave. Ava scoffed to herself quietly, standing by Zari who had gripped her hand tightly.

It was time for the eulogy, Ava let go of Zari’s hand, walking in front of the crowd. She cleared her throat, looking down at the hole in the ground. A part of her wishing she’d get swallowed in.

“Gladys Joy Maecenas was only in my life for half a decade but in that time she managed to have one of the most important roles in my life. She was like…the mother I never had. She was kind, funny, and brave, she was so brave. She worked for everything she had and didn’t ask anyone for anything. And she made so many people happy including me, and she had times where she’d make a bad decision.

But she always found a way out of it because that’s the person she was. My only regret is that I didn’t meet her sooner.”

The reception went on. The casket went into the ground and dirt piled on top of it. People ate and chatted away. Ava sat by the tree that would’ve been shading her from the sun. Her family was standing close by but made sure there was a distance between them. Ava had her back turned from the headstone but she could feel the eyes on her.

After a while, she got into her car leaving the legends to worry for her. When she got home her keys fell from her hand and the door barely closed behind her.

Her hand opened the fridge but there was no alcohol or anything that could make her numb. She trotted to her bedroom shoving the clothes on her bed to the floor. She mindlessly put on her alarm and fell onto her comforter.

When she blinked liquid fell from her eyes, and some more, then a little more before a broken sob left her mouth. Ava slept and dreamt of Sara and Gladys talking in the afterlife without her. Both of them blamed her for their deaths. This was a nightmare. This was hell; she woke with the same night sweat, her alarm minutes from going off.

Thailand here I come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone has any suggestions comment them and I'll see what I can do. also if you want to write this book with me lmk✌🏾.


	3. iii

The plan was simple. Get as much sleep on the plane as possible. The plan quickly fell through when the pilot said there was unexpected turbulence. The plane would shake violently, dipping into the sky like a rollercoaster. Air masks dropped from the compartment, people waking up in a panic.

The stormy weather earlier had turned into a thunderstorm. The rain hit the windows, lightning booming a little too close for Ava’s comfort. She sat next to a little boy who was squeezing his teddy bear tightly. His mom had her arm wrapped around his shoulder trying to calm him down.

They had only been in the air for 20 minutes but the storm had come quickly. Ava looked out the window, seeing nothing but the dark looming clouds and the rain that hit the window. She exhaled gently, gazing out into the sky at the current sky level.

Flight attendants were sure to ask anyone if they needed assistance but they were just as scared. The weather was supposed to be perfect all day, the change in mood was unexpected.

Rationally Ava knew she had nothing to do with the weather but she entertained the idea that maybe she caused this. The storm, the thunder, the harsh rain pouring, the turbulence all of it was her. It was the universe manifesting her feelings back at her, reflecting her movements. Which sounds egotistical but it was far from it.

Ava wanted it to stop. Those moments where she lived a trip around the sun. The people that fell around her. The laying on the ground because if she was on her feet she’d be too vulnerable. The constant autopilot she seemed to live in.

She wanted the world to stop throwing shit in her face and keep expecting her to move on. Time kept telling her to move on before she got a chance to grieve. From Sara, her old job, her old life, even Gladys. Toby wasn’t happy to hear that she would be traveling right after a funeral but Ava had a job to do. And honestly, she was glad at the change of scenery.

The plane had tilted only for a moment but it was enough to cause the boy beside her to whimper in his mom’s sleeve. She looked down at the kid, he had short coil-y, dark hair and his skin was a deep brown. His mom was a replica of him and she had this worried look on her face. Ava smiled sadly.

“Hey, kid,” Ava whispered which caught the mom and boy’s attention. “You look like you’re the smartest person in the world. So I bet you know why it’s raining so hard.”

He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing in wonder. “I don’t, I’m scared.” He admitted, gripping his mom’s hand.

“Well lucky for you, I do. You see sometimes the world gets a little dry, nothing too serious. It just needs a little pick me up so it takes all the water up into the sky and heals itself. I know it can be scary but it’s just doing what it needs to survive.

“When you were a baby you used to cry and probably drive your mom insane but that was how you survived. That’s how you let her know you need her. And you’re here aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he giggled, looking up at his mom. She had been wary of this conversation but soon her expression had changed into a smile. She asked Ava if she had any kids and her response was no. And the plane ride went one, and the little boy didn’t jump as much when the thunder boomed. Content finally, he slept peacefully against his mother.

It was a long 17 hours and Ava hadn’t slept for a minute. She checked the email Iris sent her, catching up on the information for the little boy’s condition. Whose name is Arjun Fang, an eight-year-old who was diagnosed with epilepsy.

She talked to Janice, the boy’s mom for a little bit. She did as much research as she could because she didn’t have any time earlier in the week. She learned the death rates, how far the Zombie disease had spread since her call with Iris. She memorized the survival rates which were little to none.

The actual disease itself was infectious by the tiniest bacteria having contact with you. The asphyxiation Arjun was experiencing originated from one of his episodes but every other patient that has caught it has had the same side effect.

The plane landed and people rushed out, thankful to be on land again. Ava was the last one out, Janice was waiting for her with the little guy by her hip. She put her hand on Ava’s wrist, smiling kindly in her direction.

“Thank you again for the talk, Ava.” Ava put her hand on top, nodding before bending down to the kid’s level.

“You made it buddy, your feet are on the ground.” He jumped pushing himself into Ava’s chest, rocking her backward. She laughed loudly, hugging the kid back before pulling them both up. The woman was more than enlightened to have these moments. Kids were so pure that it convinced the woman that she too could be that innocent. She waved goodbye at the pair, going to the car that had been waiting for her arrival.

The chauffeur got out of the vehicle helping Ava with her luggage. She thanked him before letting herself into the back of the car. When they got to the hotel which was not far from the airport. He helped her get the bags to the lobby, telling her he’d come back later in the afternoon when she was well-rested. She nodded thanking him again before going up to the front desk.

Her room was luscious, the white walls had paintings on them and some shelf life that held plants. Every piece of furniture was sleek and had a hard edge. The heavy threaded comforter looked wonderful to Ava, she jumped headfirst onto the made bed. Her body lay diagonal as she sighed into the pillow.

Fresh scent tingled her senses, a mist of citrus mixed with the natural plant smell diffused through the room. Ava took a deep breath closing her eyes trying to imagine a garden replenished with the best oranges and grapefruit and the yellowest lemon known to man.

The overly worked woman fell asleep not long after, her nap very much necessary for the day ahead of her.

Whether it was a new atmosphere or the clear exhaustion that spelled her, she managed to get two hours of rest. She woke up, staying in bed scrolling through her messages before getting ready to go to the hospital.


	4. iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while but I had this for a while. I let it marinate and yeah. That's it bye👉🏾👈🏾✌🏾.

CDC [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] had sent a group of their finest employees to oversee the situation in Asia. They had a responsibility to keep outbreaks under wraps until the virus is completely exterminated. The doctor had been working in Thailand for over two weeks and she couldn’t find the explanation behind this disease; stonewalling her.

“Code Blue!” Yelled the doctor, her head sticking halfway out the wood door. Nurses in blue scrubs rushed in, a cart following behind. The monitor was beeping signaling that Arjun (the sick child) was going into a severe state. The boy looked stiff in the scratchy hospital bed.

The doctor, Murphy, shined a light in his eyes. She held off on the defibrillator suspecting it would do more harm than good. She asked for an EpiPen injecting it into the critical patient. The SATs started to drop down to their regular pulse, the monitor no longer beeping obstreperously. She let out a breath of relief, injecting another IV into his vein.

Behind her Ava stood, watching silently before clearing her throat to make her presents noticed. The woman lifted a brow in her direction, throwing her gloves in the trash. She left the room closing the door behind her and Ava.

“Yes?”

“I’m Ava Sharpe, from Central City Citizen.” The blonde held out her hand. Again the doctor lifted her eyebrow. Her face was stern and unmoving it impressed Ava how professional she was. Ava was the master of authoritative deadly stares.

“You’re a long way home. Make sure you don’t get in the way.” With that the lass left, Ava dumbfounded looked at her backside as she strode away. Ava stood in the middle of the hospital confused. Snapping herself out of her reverie.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s…a lot at first.” A familiar voice next to her reassured her. Ava couldn’t place the voice to a face in her head. She turned, revealing the face of Amaya Jiwe. Her eyes widened in disbelief, hugging the other woman tightly.

“You’re not Charlie, right? Because I swear I will kick you in the balls if you are.”

Amaya laughed awkwardly, “Charlie? I promise I’m Amaya.” Ava launched herself back onto the totem bearer and Amaya returned the hug just as tightly.

“What are you doing here? How are you here? Why don’t you look…?”

“-Old? It’s a long story, how about we go grab a coffee one of these days?” she suggested and Ava agreed.

“Could you point me to the head of CDC on the ground? I need to introduce myself and whatnot.” Amaya smiled, a small laugh falling out her lips.

“You just met her,” she says pointing in the direction of where the doctor had left Ava. Ava’s face scrunched up uncomfortably causing Amaya’s smile to grow even wider.

Ava had always thought that the totem bearer was the most sensible of all the legends. Her time with Justice League building her strategic and responsible mind. She added a good balance between insane and calm to the legends. Her efforts didn’t fully transpire as they still managed to let out a time demon, breaking the seal and letting fugitives onto the earth.

“Wow, you’re still here, holy shit.” Ava blinked serially.

“Fortunately,” she laughed, “come on I’ll give you the unofficial tour.”  
\---------

5 years ago

The shape of Sara and Ava’s room on the ship was disheveled. Clothes lay carelessly on the floor and a pile was growing on the seat. Under the wrappers and bags of unfinished chips, Ava slept somewhat peacefully.

It had been a few months since the official funeral for Sara. And the blonde had regulated herself into an imperatively wrong position. If she wasn’t buried under the mountain of her room she was working a risky mission that would take hours, without assistance. Much to the legends' disagreements.

It had gone like this for a few weeks and the legends were out of their league when it came to helpful ideas. Everything they did posed a problem in Ava’s already broken character.

A heavy pound landed on the steel door forcing Ava out of her unconsciousness. She dug her face into the pillow, groaning. She knew whoever it was wouldn’t wait so she quickly scattered to cover the items on her bed with the weighted comforter.

The clothes that were on the floor were swiped into the closet in a rush. As well as the clothes disguising the chair were quickly shoved under the bed.

Steel gray doors unsealed on Ava’s command showing Zari with John next to her. The two had looked at her with a knowing look.

“Ava, I know you’re going through…this” Zari gestured with her hands, “but I can’t let you wear that in good conscience.”

Ava rolled her eyes going back to the comfort of her bed. The pair stayed at the entrance of the room. Lingering eyes not missing the state of the room even without the clothes. She rolled her eyes again, laying her back on the headboard.

“Look pet, the team is worried. You haven’t been out of this bloody room in days. And I know you can’t be arsed but take it from me, love, you have to face the world at some point.”

To be frank with you the woman had a hard time grasping this. This being a life without Sara. Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was zombies chewing and clawing at her girlfriend. Although the images haunted her to a bathetic level. It rehearsed itself in Ava’s mind leaving no room for disremember. A fraction of Ava liked seeing Sara again even if it was to torment her. She enjoyed the dreams of the moment right before Sara sacrificed herself. The words uttered out into the air made it worth the night sweats. Or the countless fears she had that Sara was somewhere blaming her.

“Okay,” she let out quietly.

“Wait really? I didn’t think it would be that easy. Hell, I didn’t even think it would work,” Zari mumbled, looking cheerful.

“No, I was kidding. Can I wallow in peace now?”

Zari’s shoulders dropped disappointedly. She let out a loud groan, the Cat Chat influencer cared deeply for Ava. The freakishly tall blonde had become one of her first real friends and she just wanted to return the favor.

“Come on, Ava.” She pushed harder but got no response from the woman.

“I’m going to leave you two lasses to sort this out.” John left before Zari could protest. Zari dared to step a foot into the room and made her way to Ava’s side. She stood awkwardly at her side, conflicted with what to do next.

For a second she just stared at Ava before going to the other side of the bed and laying down. At the sound of crunching plastic under her, she unpeeled the blanket revealing the food. Zari thinned her lips glancing at Ava who shrugged.

She swiped the packages off the bed, the items that were once on the bed falling onto the floor. Zari retook her place next to Ava. It was silent between the two of them, each in   
their head.

Zari’s brain had trailed off to the start of the year. When she suspected that Behrad was lying about being in business school for all those years. Only to walk onto a time ship and meet the weirdest and most accepting group of people. She appreciated Ava’s role in her life that was filled with fake friends and cheating boyfriends.

Ava was thinking about something similar. Her knowledge of the legends had always been about their deficiencies, but she had learned that there was more to them. Yes, they made countless mistakes ‘for the better’ but they had each other. And at the end of the day, the mistake truly was for the better because it brought the family together.

“We could sit here all day if you want. I would mind seeing as this place is a mess but it's fine.” Zari shrugged nonchalantly and Ava grinned in response.

“Thank you, Z.”


	5. v

1 year ago

“Why did you smoke?” Ava and John stood on the balcony together looking at the darkened city. It had been their annual game night and the rest of the crew were busy re-watching Star Wars.

The band of misfits had played an assortment of board games before deciding to move onto puzzles. The competitiveness of the group multiplying the further they played said board games. 

“It was an instinct, pet. Never really had a reason to think about why,” he shrugged. “I just did.” 

Ava’s nose scrunched up at the name but kept silent. Her thoughts are stirring to leap out of her head. She settled her gaze at the civilians walking down below, her eyes followed while her brain continued to stir. She loved every moment that the Legends were together but it led to her downfall.

“Sharpie, listen everyone has something inside them that they think they can’t tame. For years I thought if I let myself settle it’d cause the apocalypse-“

“Well, that’s just you being a self-centered asshole.” She smirked, not meeting his gaze that was looking at her intently. 

“Lucky for you I learned that there was a more self-centered person, Ava Sharpe everyone.” He spread his hands out, a glass of liquid still in hand. Ava shook her head, taking the drink from him and chugging it. His face morphed into an expression that caused Ava to belt out laughing.

“What can I say? The selfish part of me is instinctual.”

The pair drank quietly, sinking in the cool air that nipped at their skin. Well Ava’s, John wore his classic beige trench coat.

The door to the balcony opened and Nate’s head popped out to look at the two. “We’re playing cards against humanity, you in? Gary promised he won’t cry this time.”

Ava grinned already making her way into the house. A hand on her elbow stopped her from going any further. “Take care of yourself, mate. And you owe me a drink, you thought I forgot.” She continued her journey in the house, hearing the joy that emitted from the living room.

\-------

A week had passed since Ava had been assigned in Thailand, but that’s all it took to spread it in other parts of Asia. Nobody she talked to would tell her anything about the rumors, the concern outweighing it. 

Dr. Murphy seemed to always be at the hospital, running around in that white coat. It almost convinced Ava she was immune due to her lack of distance. Amaya had told her more about the woman, her praises high. Still, Ava kept her distance and persisted in her assignment opting not to make the lady’s job harder.

Amaya is still the sweet, down to earth woman with great wisdom. Her presence made Ava feel all the more at peace. 

The woman checked her watch noticing it was time for her to go home. She’d spent way too many hours in the hospital not to be a patient or Doctor. The drive was serene, the windows down and air blowing as she drove by different buildings. Her eyes would linger on the architecture at the red light, so infatuated by the contrast to Star City or DC. 

There was something so freeing about being in a place where no one knew you. No one knew your story or the traumas you had to face. She liked the mystery of it all, for once not being in the know calmed her. People didn’t look filled with terror or pity or sorrow, instead, they kept walking.

She reached her destination, parking the car and picking up the bag in the passenger seat. She made her way up to her hotel room, sliding the keycard in the door. She locked the door behind her, dropping the bag on the floor. Her body moved towards the window that had a view of the starry night. Stars filled the sky, unlike back home where the pollution tainted the sky. 

She pulled her blazer off letting it drop on the seat beside her. She reached for the phone in her pocket and turned it on. She had told Iris that if she needed to contact her call the hospital everyone else was left with declined calls. Seeing the unread messages from her trainer made her wince.

_At least tell me you’re staying on the meal plan, Ava?_

Toby had been overly concerned about Ava ever since he noticed her weight didn’t reach the standard for her build. He’d always check on her, scheduling lunch after training as a way to make sure she took care of herself. At first, he did it out of obligation and concern but he soon considered the woman a friend. 

Ava threw her phone onto the bed not responding to the text. She got up and headed to the bathroom, looking in the mirror to see the face of many. She didn’t look too long, an image of clones standing in formation looking back at her. She continued with her routine, pulling herself under the covers after her extended shower. 

She tossed and turned, her mind racing with thoughts of the disease that plagued the little boy. She talked to him briefly but somewhere during the week the boy had been limited to visitors due to his declining health. Ava groaned as she laid on her back looking at her ceiling.

“Gideon,” she called out. 

“Yes?” Her phone answered, Ray had wired Gideon to all their devices. 

“Are the rumors true?” Ava wasn’t one to spoil the plot, but she needed to know if she was wasting her time while people were dying. Gideon signed expectantly, her human capabilities growing as she spent more time with said species.

“Ms. Sharpe the details of the future are sensitive, I can only tell you what I know will not harm the coming events.”

“Tell me, Gid, I’m basically from the future.”

“The rumors are nothing but rumors. But politicians are pushing this agenda.” Okay, okay great Ava can deal with this. All she had to do was figure out what caused this virus and debunk political assholes. Which is easier said than done seeing as she wasn’t a scientist. Or doctor, or any profession that could help figure this out.

“Thank you, could you-“

“I’m already on it, Ms. Sharpe.” 

The TV turned on and the beginning of Swamp Thaaaaang played. It was a guilty pleasure of hers’ that never seemed to get old. The memorized movie continued to play and as the night went on it became background noise to the sleeping woman. 

On Monday Ava walked in with her coffee order in hand and sunglasses. Her outfit was sharp(e). She walked into the lab to see Amaya and Murphy looking at a screen. Amaya sent her the famous smile which she returned.

“Good morning,” Ava said as she reached the steel table. 

“Hey, we think we found something.” Ava quickly found her way at the other end of the table ignoring how the lady hadn’t looked up once since she entered.

Ava bent down towards the microscope, looking through the lens. The image she was greeted with was blobs dividing and multiplying at a fast rate. “What is it?”

“White blood cell sample from Arjun Fang. The cells are mutating at an alarming rate that we think overwhelms the system and completely exposes you to diseases. Originally white blood cells are to protect you from any form of illness, but too many of anything can be bad.” Amaya explained.

“You think because he had a previous history with his health that he became vulnerable to the disease?” Ava looked at the cells again, they had all been gone leaving only one blob.

“Yes,” Dr. Murphy finally spoke, taking her gloves off and throwing them in the trash. “What doesn’t make sense though is the timeline. The only reason we know this is a virus is that he suffered gravely as well as the people he encountered. But there was probably someone before him that didn’t have any side effects.”

Ava thought about the information she just heard, trying to piece together the pieces. Her face morphed and she looked between the two doctors.

“You think- you think he gave it to them?” Ava rushed out quietly. If someone had the disease before him but was able to live without distress. Arjun was susceptible to the virus after having an episode that allowed the virus to take full effect.

“It’s just a theory, but if that’s the case then we need to find a way to reverse his bloodstream so he can’t spread it to anyone else.” Murphy walked out of the lab leaving the two girls together. 

Ava let out a breath. ”Wow, this is not how I pictured my Monday going.”

Amaya chuckled, “did any of us? Have any ideas on how to reverse his system?”

“Well do we even know if this is sound? If the virus was doormat until he came, there has to be a way to suppress it.”

“We’ll get some more blood samples, if anything a blood transfusion should do the trick.”

They had issued a drug so that he couldn’t feel pain as much but he still looked green. Ava smiled at him but the mask covered the transaction. The protective gear is required to see any patient in the hospital. She held his small hand in hers, the boy’s eyes trailing towards her. 

“Hey buddy,” Ava felt her heartache when the boy realized he couldn’t talk. The intubation tube down his throat preventing his asphyxiation. “It’s okay you don’t have to talk.”

“I just wanted to check on you, I know you can’t have that many visitors.” Ava brushed his hair away from his hot face. The beads of sweat that licked his face visible to the blonde. She took a sterilized rag and dragged the cold substance against his forehead.

“You’re doing great, ya know. You are probably the most resilient kid I’ve ever met, Arjun.” He shifted on the bed, his head turning to face the window. Ava’s heart clenched, the pit in her stomach grew deeper as she looked at the pain-stricken boy.

“How about we watch a cartoon? You’re probably missing SpongeBob or something.” His face whipped so fast that she was scared for him. The incredulous look he gave her at the mention of the kid show was merciless.

Ava laughed, “Aren’t you eight, what’s wrong with SpongeBob?” He squinted as if he was asking if she was serious. “Fine, Teen Titans Go? Listen, kid, I’m out of my element so I’ll hold the remote and you can choose.”

He seemed content with that arrangement and the two ended up watching Dragon Ball Z. Ava didn’t want to admit it but she was enjoying the show. They continued to watch it until he had fallen asleep and Ava turned it off. She brushed the rag against his skin once more before leaving the room.

She took off all the gear that she was buried under and threw it in the bin next to his room. Only to put another one on to visit another patient. It went like that for the remainder of the day. Ava talking to people and assuring them that they were strong. 

At the door to her hotel room, her phone started to ring. Astra’s ID stared back at her and she quickly picked it up. “Hey, what’s up?” She slid the keycard watching it turn green before she pushed the door open. Walking inside she laid her bag on the floor, locking the door behind her

“I’m graduating in May! Holy fuck, can you believe that?” Ava smiled, laughing at the excitement in her voice.

“I still can’t believe you decided to go to college.”


	6. vi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diving into Astra's 'arc'. ✌🏾:)

John was helping Astra after the Legends dispersed. This information was not news to anyone because they all knew the man had felt guilty for her fate. He’d been carrying around this weight of his actions for far too long and even now he wanted to make up for it. So he helped her adjust, and trust Astra needed a lot of adjusting.

The woman didn’t know anything about empathy, or human decency but who does. John explained the concept after she had told a man to fuck off and move on after his cat died and he happened to be in front of her car.

That’s another thing that Astra learned, how to drive a car. It didn’t take long if you didn’t count the complaints and questions that came from her. According to her all she needed in hell was a straight posture and power to get where she desired. Overall her attitude towards learning human activity wasn’t great. But they made a breakthrough one day at Barnes and Nobles so she can choose between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. John hadn’t read any of them but she didn’t need to know that, all he knew was people went crazy for one or the other.

Astra’s honesty that night was far from expected, her head bowed as she opted not to face John.

“I’m not good at being human. I literally can’t parallel park to save my life and Gary is a better stoner than me.” Her embarrassment clear as day but John was proud. He had hoped the woman would continue and this was a step in the right direction.

“That’s okay, love. Not a single one of these blokes know what they’re on about, eh.”

Astra shuffled through the book but her attention was set on the demonologist. “What’s the point then? I could get one of those watches or rock thingies and no one will know.”

There was a phase that everyone went through at one point in their life where they questioned everything. Random incidents or emotions that made you want to question the whole existence of the Earth until you finally found your purpose. Well, you could say Astra found her purpose in hell, but everyone around her convinced her that she could do more, be more. Her annoyance and curiosity in the humans stemmed from the fact that she never got that experience. For so long it had felt like her childhood was stripped away from her. Her mother nothing but a blurry memory.

She was taken in by Lachesis at a young age and the women had brought her up to be the person she is now. Astra never got to try sports in school or get heartbroken by a boy. Best friend wasn’t in her vocabulary, let alone a friend. She clawed her way through that rotten place to get to the top only to be left with walls shielding her from others.

It was hell, no one wanted to be friends. At least that’s what she told herself and she still carried so much anger towards John. For so many years her success had been powered by her hatred, the vicious thoughts filling her brain. It had kept her going for so long and so when Lachesis tried to manipulate her with John who was she to say no. After all, she became this way despite his promises and innocent lies. Lies that would eventually cause her eternal damnation.

Eventually, Astra learned to forgive him, she’d repressed her feelings long enough and it seeped out of her wanting to be free. She figured she’d have to let go, not for him but for the little girl who was terrified and lonely in the depths of hell.

The pair continued to talk in the store, John admitted that he didn’t get society either. So they vowed to go through it together. And it was going great until Astra showed up at Ava’s door six months from then, holding in the biggest flux of tears. She ushered the girl in, getting her a leftover from Gladys’s cookout.

The quiet thank you that tipped out her mouth made Ava freeze. She knew that she was capable of manners, it’s not like she doubted her for a second. But hearing it in action was what caught her off guard.

“It’s nothing, there are always leftovers when Gladi decides she wants to cook for the whole city.”

Before this Ava was drafting up an email to her colleagues to make sure they stayed on top of everything. She had been settled into the job and she didn’t want anyone to ruin this for her.

The room was quiet for a moment, the reality that they didn’t know each other well enough to have any deep conversation. So Ava turned into the living room inviting Astra with her. Ava let Astra pick and unsurprisingly she picked a horror movie. As it went on both girls started to realize how ignorant it was.

“How the fuck did he fall? Like you’re two seconds away from being killed and you fall on air?” Astra exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. Ava threw her head back and laughed, watching as the boy scrambled to get up but never making it to his feet.

“Isn’t he the man character? No, seriously he needs to be faster than that if he wants to be the main character.” Astra continued shaking her head disappointedly.

“I hate when they scream,” Ava commented when the girl found out the identity of the killer. Astra raised a brow but didn’t disagree. That’s how it went for the rest of the day. 

Both of them commenting on the stupid things that the victims would do, or how they would take down the antagonist.

It was freeing for Astra and set her mind at ease from today’s earlier events. Three hours had gone by and Ava asked if she wanted to sleep over, the same concern returning to her face. Astra nodded but her eyes wouldn’t focus on Ava.

The blonde left her alone, doing little things around the house and occasionally asking if she needed anything. When Ava had finally stood still they migrated to her bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You haven’t been to book club in a while, the girls were getting worried.” She didn’t ask a question but Astra could read in-between the lines.

“I know...I just didn’t feel like coming,” that was the closest thing to the truth. Not because of the people but everything else. The pressure, even from six months later was heavy, and every day she felt like someone added a five-pound weight. And she was sorry if she disappointed John by washing a little cash but he had sent her downstairs and she told him as much.

Back then she would’ve paid a butt load to see the look on his face but all she felt was guilt and regret. He left after that not saying a word to her, so instead, she opted to skip book club.

Astra shook her head to clear the growing guilt that had no limits, “I screwed up, again.” She admitted quietly, a comforting hand brushed against her arm.

“I’m sure you have a fix, you’re Astra Logue. You revived the cruelest people from hell just to fuck with us,” They chuckled.

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it, I got a cool sword in the end. Every lesbian's dream, eh.”

That night changed her attitude completely. A simple conversation managed to give her the courage to take the next step, whatever that meant. She stopped washing cash which caused distress for some of her colleagues’. She didn’t care though because she wanted to do right by herself, that guilt had empowered her to continue her journey. She told herself that when John and she crossed paths she’ll apologize for being careless.

What Astra didn’t know was that it would be months before she saw John again and the guilt would still sit there. Reserved for one John Constantine. She recognized him from across a bar, and the man nodded before downing the liquid.

She excused herself from the group of college girls that invited her out. Going to college was a spur-of-the-moment decision. And if she was being honest with herself she didn’t hate it, it was different from all the crazy that Legends got themselves into. It was just the right level of normalcy that convinced Astra that she could be normal as well. She sat on the barstool next to the British lad, staying silent. She nodded uncomfortably realizing that she would be the one to start this conversation.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. I shouldn’t have said what I did, especially when you devoted your life to help me. I know you were just looking out for me but at the time the cash was flooding in and- God, I felt like I had some form of control over my life for once, you know?”

“I may have spent a good portion of my life trying to find a way to get you out of hell but you were the one that saved yourself. Love, I want you to know I’m sorry for the damage that I caused your family.”

He sounded so genuine and Astra couldn’t help but feel grateful that she didn’t hate him anymore. Because John was going to be a part of her story whether she liked it or not and having him on her side felt liberating.

“Johnny you are my family. And sometimes family sends each other to hell.” They were able to laugh at the comment, the real message lingering in the atmosphere.

“Sharpie told me you found a new crew.” Astra looked over towards the booth where her friends were laughing and she nodded.

“Yeah, I uh decided to try a new adventure,” she whispered in the loud club. The statement more for herself than John. He looked at her for an extended period before grabbing her hand.

“I’m proud of you and your mother would be too.”

It would be years of college courses and all the things that came with being around the other 20yrs. She figured out her passion was PR (promoting rich bitches, depending on who you asked) which surprised her but not her friends. According to them, she could plan the whole Met Gala and still have time to dress for the red carpet. Whether it was said in an impressive manner or insulting didn’t matter because she still took the compliment.

Lita had gone to the same college, the arsonist’s daughter became a good friend to her. They shared crazy stories of college parties and hangouts. During the summer break, it was nothing but beach time and bonfires. Astra was crowned best party thrower which caused some people to lash out but she took it in style.

The women enjoyed the loudness that came with this point in their life but they also appreciated the quiet ones. Astra waking up to breakfast by Ms. Rory and sitting outside to eat as people passed by. The stress of it all was bearable compared to anything else in her life so she took it in strides.

Four years had passed and she was going to graduate in May. Astra had dreamt of the day where all the all-nighters and study groups were worth it. Suddenly the hill didn’t seem that high and the endless road finally led to something greater.

She was proud of herself, nights that she couldn’t help but be impulsive and run away or get into some trouble grew doormat. That urge she had early to run back to what she knew even if that meant being bad drifted.

Book club planted a seed inside of her and watered it until it grew gracefully. The conversation light or heavy had always left her with something. Content, understanding, a burning curiosity, happiness. They taught her how to be a good friend through their actions, kindness, and acceptance. They celebrated her victories and mourned her losses as if they were their own.

To say that she did this by herself would be ridiculous; she couldn’t have done it without those losers.

\---

Ava talked to Astra for a portion of the night. Ava showing her pride and happiness towards the woman’s accomplishments, she did not doubt that she would do great things. From the beginning of her journey, or the time in hell, Ava felt the power in Astra. The goodness inside her.

“How’s…” Astra trailed off leaving room for Ava to explain.

“Thailand, it’s uh differently different from what I expected. I know I came here for the Job but this place feels like Disney World; it’s magical. Even if this virus is spreading rapidly.”

The thought had crossed her mind a couple of times. Roller-coasters were the bridges and roads she passed along the way, the food market called to her but she had no time to indulge. The little people knew about her and the architecture spoke to her. Something in this place was calling her and Ava had to figure out what it was.

“Are you being safe? There is a virus out there and we all want you to be safe.” Astra said, her voice filled with concern and sincerity. Ava looked down, thanking the Gods that Astra couldn’t see her.

“Don’t worry, we are taking every precaution necessary.”

“Shore,” Astra dragged out. “Any hotties for me? College kids are dis-gust-ing, I don’t know how people deal with them.”

Ava’s amusement seeped into the speaker, “You know you’re a college kid right?” Astra scoffed and Ava imagined her arms swinging around in protest like a five-year-old.

“I grew up in hell, comparing me to these people is a hate crime to all fellow hell-goers.”

‘Hell-goers’ Ava murmured to herself in a state of astonishment. Fortunately for the blonde, she had years of experience with friendships including Astra Lodge. (She worked a mean pantsuit-which isn’t the point) The point was that insults usually meant something deeper, 9 times out of 10, okay 7. She really enjoyed insulting people but still, Ava was concerned.

There was also a possibility that the tall blonde was compartmentalizing and prioritizing others’ emotions for the sake of forgetting her own. Gladys had been barely dead for two weeks and this is the longest time in years since she hasn’t lived next door to that woman. This job opportunity came at strikingly good times if you consider the funeral that took place hours before her departure.

Gladys AKA Gladi made Ava feel human. She made her feel at home like she had a mother in a weird Annie from the orphanage kind of way. Ava was adopted into this small little family that rooted her in Star City. She’d never admit it but the thought of fleeing that City plagued her and the pure reminders that this was someone else’s home before it was hers. The fact that something important, someone, kept her there and not a coping mechanism set her at ease. Instead of memories of her.

But now the City was tainted with both bodies. Both comfort places gone, nowhere in sight.

“Ava! Ava what the fuck, you know I retired from exorcisms but if I have to get Johnny I will.” Astra blurted loudly after the abrupt silence that instilled. Ava shook her head, looking ahead at the window reflection. It was a glance but her mode had plummeted from proud to numb in seconds, all the excitement washed away in a single glance.

“Astra listen I have to go. I’ll RSVP or whatever to your graduation and I’m proud of you.”

“Oh okay, text me alright. Bye.” She sounded disappointed. ‘She should know better than to get her hopes up’ Ava’s head conjured up voices, speaking ill. Her reflection laughed at her and the dial tone sounded in her ear. Ava was stuck, rooted in the same position watching her reflection for any sudden movements.

Quiet gasps and mockery poked out. It was getting closer and Ava felt so exposed, so vulnerable. She felt the eyes of billions watching her and seeing right through her act. In Addition to her current state of numbness, she had managed to stop the voices, breathe-breathe-in n’ out.

The phone slipped from her palms and the quietness enveloped her. Her mind was a fortress filled with tangled messes and the only thing that went well with that was Vodka. That and Swamp Thang(x6) on standby for occurring events.


End file.
